you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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