i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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