So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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