no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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