I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Too much gin, very little bucket
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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