i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize