I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Girls should come with a carfax report
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize