The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize