I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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