So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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