His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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