Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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