you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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