whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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