I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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