You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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