It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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