Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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