There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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