do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize