..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize