bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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