Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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