Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize