please come you make the beer taste better
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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