and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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