how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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