then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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