Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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