Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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