Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize