The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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