that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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