I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize