I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We have started to decorate penises.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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