yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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