Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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(619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0

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(718): View more from New York

we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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(718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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(770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85

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(503): View more from Oregon

So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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(503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9

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(323): View more from California

I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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(323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.

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(910): Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night. http://tfl.nu/xyp8

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(480): View more from Arizona

i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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(480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959

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(712): View more from Iowa

Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.

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(712): Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS. http://tfl.nu/utzb

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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(832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k

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(213): View more from California

I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

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(213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1

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(817): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.

(512): View more from Texas

Not yet.

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(817): I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous. (512): Not yet. http://tfl.nu/l0rj

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(612): View more from Minnesota

her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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(612): her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode http://tfl.nu/ptvh

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(504): View more from Louisiana

How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?

(1-504): View more from Louisiana

omg mom no

(504): View more from Louisiana

It's so blood brotha crip what be good

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(504): How many stacks you been grindin gangsta? (1-504): omg mom no (504): It's so blood brotha crip what be good http://tfl.nu/20m9

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(716): View more from New York

Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

(716): View more from New York

If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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(716): Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you? (716): If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love http://tfl.nu/boug

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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(724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b

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