Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize