Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize