glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize