Tell her she can't have a vagina
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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