it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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