I want to make a zoo with you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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