Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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