well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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