I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize