Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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