The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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