Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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