Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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